Chapter Three

Please stay on the Trail

As the wind blew through the car allowing me to breathe freely, I could feel the experience of Bottle Tree settling even deeper within my spirit, rooting itself.

For the most part, I drove with a clear mind. Occasionally, thoughts of chaos tried to intrude. Each dash on the highway came and went, much like the memories of Dad that were beginning to flood my mind.

With him being a long-distance truck driver my whole life, and myself now on the open road, I couldn’t help but feel close to him. As a little girl, he occasionally took me on small overnight trips, but once I got to go all the way across the country with him. As a ten-year-old, that was beyond exciting! 

Traveling on a whim sometimes comes with minor inconveniences. Intentionally, I didn’t book motel rooms ahead of time so that I could take the time needed to explore Route 66 at my own pace. Unfortunately, every small town motel had the ‘No Vacancy’ signs displayed. Around 2 am, I realized that I’d be sleeping in my car and reluctantly pulled into a truck stop. I found a parking spot close to the front door and managed to shut my eyes for a couple of hours but definitely did not get a good night’s sleep. 

However, a gift came with the rising sun. The morning light shimmered off the big semi-trucks and brought me back in time to the morning I had first experienced truck stop life with Dad. The night before I had fallen asleep in the big rig’s sleeper; the rumble of the truck engine had rocked me to sleep. The next morning I woke just as Dad was coming back from the truck stop store with honeybuns and hot chocolate for us to share. I crawled onto the big center console and we ate our goodies while quietly watching the sunrise together. That silent moment will forever be etched in my mind.

And now, as I sat in my car, enjoying hot chocolate, a honeybun and the sunrise with the same smells and sounds surrounding me, I looked out upon the highway that I was eager to return to. I wonder if Dad found the same solace.

After a few hours of driving, I quickly learned there wasn’t much in Arizona between Kingman and Flagstaff. Just more dashes on the road. The enlightenment from the day before had lost its sparkle and boredom started to settle in.

Looking at the map, I noticed there weren’t any photo opps right off the highway, but Sedona was only 30 miles south of the i40. Something told me to stay on the road ahead of me, to not veer off … but wasn’t Sedona too beautiful to miss? I had the time, so why not?, I thought. Winnie had mentioned that if I did go, to check out the Church on the Hill. The idea of seeing something beautiful and fascinating versus the same old dashes on the road was appealing. And even though I wasn’t supposed to go to Sedona, I did.

Going down a very steep hill on very little sleep was not wise. It took an amount of concentration I didn’t have to get down the switchback-like mountain road. When traffic backed up, I was relieved to have a break for my brain. Finally, I reached my destination of Sedona. 

Naively, I didn’t know that the town of Sedona was a big tourist attraction. It was filled with all the hustle and bustle I was escaping! As soon as I arrived, I knew it was a big mistake. After getting lost and having to make numerous u-turns, anxiety overwhelmed me. I managed to find the Church on the Hill and once I did, I toured it, snapped some photos, and forced myself to take in its beauty before finding my way out of Sedona.

This town was beautiful, but the peace I had felt before was now gone.

I couldn’t wait to get back on track. This trip had become comforting and healing. Mostly, what I felt was a very strong sense of reclamation as if the dashes represented memories … ones that I got to take time to process through, pray about, and accept, or, maybe let go of.

It had now been three hours since I had started the downhill journey into Sedona. Before tackling the uphill journey out of Sedona, I decided to stop at a scenic viewpoint to walk around and wake up a bit. There was a walking trail that I followed and I saw a sign in the blocked off vegetation which said, “Healing in progress, please stay on the trail”.

Message received.